DIRT & DIAMONDS

I just drove my husband out to his tractor on the field to work. It is so dry and dusty everything gets coated in a layer of dirt. And I laughed a bit at me driving trough the fields because that was that one thing I never saw myself doing earlier in life.

Never say never and all that.

My nails still look like this though, and that won't change.

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BLACK CATS AND OLD EASTER DETAILS

Happy Easter!

Here is my little black cat on this year's Easter-ing tour (or whatever we shall decide to call it in English).

As our house still looks like shit I'll post some old pictures of how it looked this time of year back when it was stil nice.

Enjoy your chocolate!

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MY TWO-DECADE CARDIGAN

The other day I realised that the oldest piece of clothing in my wardrobe, apart from vintage, is a cardigan I bought in 1997 that I still use.  I was a bit impressed actually, as we seldom tend to think of clothing of today to last for that long. And cardigans tend to get floppy easily; this one not.  I remember the store I bought it from (which is no more), and was looking at it twice or three time before actually buying it as it was expensive at the time at 120FiM, which nowadays equals to about 20€. But back then that was a lot more. You could really get a lot for the green one hundred bill, with a stubborn Sibelius on it.

There was also this little episode when this cardigan went missing for about a year and a half or so after I moved away from home and I was certain I had not lost it anywhere. It was later found in a bag under my teenaged sister's bed, as she had borrowed it without asking and then hid the evidence. Nowadays she thoroughly denies this ever happend though. Now that I remembered this again I have to tease her a little about it.

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FROM FROZEN SPARKLE TO SEAGULLS

Today I heard the first seagulls - winter will be over soon! Here are, however, some pictures from last week when it still was very much winter.

And here I am aswell! Slowly returning as the light slowly increases here on these latitudes. Like a Moomin troll I have hibernated from the blogosphere during the darkest months. (I always liked the Moomin winter book the best -well that one, and the one with the flood and the drifting heater - how he, against his nature, wakes up one winter and finds the world totally different with different creatures existing around him).

But as much as I sometimes can love winter, I do long for summer, for everything to wake up from around me. This year it feels specifically significant, as I feel a lot of things have been resting under snow so to say, for now to finally move on and be able to enjoy the sunlight. 

This year winter came late, so late that the snowfall now in mid-march does not bother me. The end of February was super cold, colder than usual for the time of year, but so beautiful I had to stop every now and then and just gaze with my mouth open. And then close it rather quickly again, as you may now it does hurt a little to breathe when it is below -15C. But really, it was like the winters from my childhood and even more - everything coated in a white glittery layer, sparkling in the sunshine, sunshine with a hue that gives everything this cold golden-turquoise shade. The air actually sparkled, as ice crystals slowly fall down from the clear sky.  (There was more sparkle all around than the backstage floor of a burlesque show and for those who know, that is A LOT) So inspiring. Photos can not do it justice, and actually can’t do at all, because both my phone and camera shut down due to the cold. Winter is so quiet, everything is padded in snow, like sound isolation, and you can listen to the silence. The other however week I heard something that I have never heard before - the tingling sound of the ice crystals falling on the hard, frozen ground. Pure Narnia; better than Narnia, because this is real! (I, amazingly enough, managed to get a little bit of it on my phone, which you can almost hear on instagram, before it shut down.)

Look! Everything sparkles.

The past year I’ve read up on my old interests of space, physics and cosmos in general (maybe because my interests moves in waves and comes and goes, perhaps it has something to do with ageing to choose this topic again, not sure) and I think about all the things that grow and exist on this planet and how versatile it is and what it would look like if someone from another existence would enter and if they would be amazed at what they saw. I also think about the face that some people, many, will never come up to these latitudes, or feel cold like ours, and never get to see how this looks and feels. Just like there are many other places and phenomena that I will not experience elsewhere.

We usually get this kind of cold once a year, or every second. The tabloids do mention it all WINTER IS COMING-style each and every time when temperatures are about to drop,  but this year “the cold from Siberia” got a little extra coverage. Since Siberia actually is our north-east neighbour, it is not that strange, and since it does indeed get below -20 every now and then it felt rather exaggerated to make a big fuzz about it. This year there were even warnings not to go outside, as some cold days were windy (which lower the temperatures even more.) at which point I clearly knew I have gotten old(er), as I find myself thinking that “back in my days when I worked out side in the harbour nobody came with any warnings to us No”! Or perhaps they even did, we just did not have the internet, glued to the palm of our hands all the time, to check from back then.

Lets insert this picture of a branch covered in beautiful frosty flakes of ice here, so that there's not too much text all at once.

So last year was busy, the last years have been busy, as have been noticeable trough my blog hibernation. But I have been here for over ten years; 2018 marks is eleventh year blogging - that is such a long time! Blogging is so different nowadays - of course, everything develops and changes with time. I never thought I’ die blogging still. Or, I never thought that I wouldn’t either, I just did not think about it that much, no plan. That’s the whole thing with everything, you never know what will happen and how things will turn out. I did not think, ten years ago when I started with burlesque, that performing would be my main profession within a few years, and that I’d be running a burlesque school. I couldn’t even have imagined that. Eight years ago a burlesque school was the dream, but it sounded so crazy; we thought it could never work over here. But - here we are. Not exactly getting rich but getting by, somewhat. But more on that topic another time.

I did think that ten years from then I would have children but not only one child.  Not all things can be chosen. I never thought I’d live out in the countryside either. Or marry a farmer. But, again, here we are.  (I did remember thinking maybe it was time for someone more academic as I was getting tired of all those rock n’roll and Big Artist guys, and without doing that much more about it still I ended up with my farming geophysicist. That’s how things sometimes go, premonition.)

Deers on a morning walk, a rather daily sight when you live out here.

No I never thought I’d live on a farm but here we are in midst of fields and forest. Still less than an hour from town, so in some ways I guess it’s the best of both worlds. We still have a labyrinth of boxes at home, and a renovation that is happening at such a slow snail pace it’s frustrating. Both Eddi and me work and travel a lot and when we are home relaxing is so much more tempting than emptying out past generation's stuffed-away-stuff from the attic or tearing away and old roof. The living situation has thus been very un-inspirational since we moved away from Tapiola, and unpractical. Which, apart from having approx. 12 hours too little per the daily 24, is also one of the reason for my little time-out. But some things have actually happened here at home, bit by bit, and it feels like we are actually starting to get somewhere, that it will soon be nice to hang out here again. Along with the light starting to flow in from the windows in the morning, I feel a lot of other things as well are moving forward. Something feels different and new.

Spring is coming, summer will soon arrive, the seagulls are shouting already. Lets see where we go from here!

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À BRUXELLES!

Hello there!
I am on my way to Brussels to perform and it seems I am only, or well mostly, planning on wearing green things.
Must be a sign that autumn is here.

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THE SILENCE

Hi! Here I (still) am. Sitting by my flower-and herb pots on the backdoor stairs. And it's sunny and almost warm -which is something of a thing this summer, the coldest of the decade they say- and I am wearing a selfmade dress I haven't in years.

And I wish I could sit like this more often, just sit there, listen to the wind in the trees and look out on the field and road in front of me, and feel good about just doing just and only that.
But I don't get to too often. The classic -  there's seldom time for it. And when I perhaps try to for a while I tend to look at everything that needs to be done, that are in the yard and garden waiting to be fixed or maintained.  That's a line you often hear from a lot of people, but in this case here everything really is waiting for the next step. The house is still full of the Tapiola-flat still packed in boxes, waiting for us to renovate more space. It looks like shit. And the to-do's from work never end; there is always something you still need to do. And have I worked, a lot, building the business, constantly. And it might even start to show soon. The two hours I spend on commuting every day are those two I spent at blogging per day before (I spend a lot of time and eat a lot of my meals in the car these days).

So I took a lot of stress during the past year of not having time to blog like I was used to, or like I wanted to. Many are the list of posts that remained on there, as notes on a list, and many are also the photos since 2015-something meant for the blog, still lingering on the memory card, to the point that it became a thing, like a barrier I couldn't get across, to actually produce something. But at some point this summer I just let that stress go. I've been here for a decade. That's a crazy long time and sometimes, when I take the sudden extra moment, I may browse back and look at what I used to do during the past ten years, and also at how one used to blog for the time being. Because that has changed as well, blogging itself has changed, the way it is done it seems. Few out there interest me anymore, many became too branded and "clean"- which is something I totally understand, the need and reason to brand oneself, for those making a living out of it.  Everyday life for me has been so hectic and at some points heavy possible blog subjects have changed and the current state of many affairs and situations in society has also had an effect on what I have felt, or rather not felt like blogging about. And all the boxes and halfway-there things at home do not serve as too inspiring an environment for the moment either.
But that does not mean I am done. I just stopped feeling bad about not being able to constantly produce material (and answer emails, sorry for that!).
And damn, that feels good!

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NEVER GETS OLD

Some things that never get old -

That first warm summer evening when you can have dinner in the green and the wind is warm and soft.

Sudden snuggle-ups and love declarations from your child.


Twin Peaks.

Anything with chocolate. Well, almost anything.
(and then I wonder why some of my clothes won't fit me in the waist anymore. If they don't fit my behind it's of course just because of my squatting and heavy weight leg pressing at them gym, obviously.)
ps. Pictured are the almost healthy chocolate raw food muffins.

Gardening. You know all those things they say about gardening and life and so on. All true.

And then of course This One.

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FOUR SMALL NICE THINGS RIGHT NOW

Four nice things right now.

Small kumquats on a branch.

Who wouldn't get happy over cute small orange thingies like these?

Green branches and leaves in a vase; a mini jungle,  left over from when I had a mini-spa for my plants at home some time ago.  (I wonder if these are of the kind that they'll grow a root of their own and I can plant them? Hmmm...)

Green grapes in a pretty bowl.

And green grapes in their most superior form, helping me tidy up the kitchen.

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A SELFIE AND IT'S META VERSION

Last night at the club night I co-produce -RubiesKlubit -Nancy took a photo of me and these two gold sparkling performers, Bébe and Bent, while we were indulging in the act of taking mandatory backstage selfies.

I probably have a thousand of photos like these by now in my phone, smiling fab people with a lot of glitter on them squeezed together to fit an instagram square (as well, as fit in a tiny backstage). But they keep on appearing, just the heads in a different order, after every show...

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PALE BLUE KITCHEN HUES

Today the dishes were matching each other.

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