TWENTY EIGHT SECONDS OF FEBRUARY

Because March is almost over by now, let us naturally (dum di dum...) look at the month before that; one-second-a-day: February 2019

These are so fun to do and I love watching other's mini videos of their months!

Read More

THIRTY-ONE SECONDS OF JANUARY

The first month of 2019 went by, lets see how the rest of 2019 goes!

This year I started with the collect-one-second-a-day-clips, which a lot of my friends did last year. (I coudn't start then as I missed the first month and my inner system would not allow me to not start on January 1.)
A fun small way to gather memory snippets.

Read More

FROM FROZEN SPARKLE TO SEAGULLS

Today I heard the first seagulls - winter will be over soon! Here are, however, some pictures from last week when it still was very much winter.

And here I am aswell! Slowly returning as the light slowly increases here on these latitudes. Like a Moomin troll I have hibernated from the blogosphere during the darkest months. (I always liked the Moomin winter book the best -well that one, and the one with the flood and the drifting heater - how he, against his nature, wakes up one winter and finds the world totally different with different creatures existing around him).

But as much as I sometimes can love winter, I do long for summer, for everything to wake up from around me. This year it feels specifically significant, as I feel a lot of things have been resting under snow so to say, for now to finally move on and be able to enjoy the sunlight. 

This year winter came late, so late that the snowfall now in mid-march does not bother me. The end of February was super cold, colder than usual for the time of year, but so beautiful I had to stop every now and then and just gaze with my mouth open. And then close it rather quickly again, as you may now it does hurt a little to breathe when it is below -15C. But really, it was like the winters from my childhood and even more - everything coated in a white glittery layer, sparkling in the sunshine, sunshine with a hue that gives everything this cold golden-turquoise shade. The air actually sparkled, as ice crystals slowly fall down from the clear sky.  (There was more sparkle all around than the backstage floor of a burlesque show and for those who know, that is A LOT) So inspiring. Photos can not do it justice, and actually can’t do at all, because both my phone and camera shut down due to the cold. Winter is so quiet, everything is padded in snow, like sound isolation, and you can listen to the silence. The other however week I heard something that I have never heard before - the tingling sound of the ice crystals falling on the hard, frozen ground. Pure Narnia; better than Narnia, because this is real! (I, amazingly enough, managed to get a little bit of it on my phone, which you can almost hear on instagram, before it shut down.)

Look! Everything sparkles.

The past year I’ve read up on my old interests of space, physics and cosmos in general (maybe because my interests moves in waves and comes and goes, perhaps it has something to do with ageing to choose this topic again, not sure) and I think about all the things that grow and exist on this planet and how versatile it is and what it would look like if someone from another existence would enter and if they would be amazed at what they saw. I also think about the face that some people, many, will never come up to these latitudes, or feel cold like ours, and never get to see how this looks and feels. Just like there are many other places and phenomena that I will not experience elsewhere.

We usually get this kind of cold once a year, or every second. The tabloids do mention it all WINTER IS COMING-style each and every time when temperatures are about to drop,  but this year “the cold from Siberia” got a little extra coverage. Since Siberia actually is our north-east neighbour, it is not that strange, and since it does indeed get below -20 every now and then it felt rather exaggerated to make a big fuzz about it. This year there were even warnings not to go outside, as some cold days were windy (which lower the temperatures even more.) at which point I clearly knew I have gotten old(er), as I find myself thinking that “back in my days when I worked out side in the harbour nobody came with any warnings to us No”! Or perhaps they even did, we just did not have the internet, glued to the palm of our hands all the time, to check from back then.

Lets insert this picture of a branch covered in beautiful frosty flakes of ice here, so that there's not too much text all at once.

So last year was busy, the last years have been busy, as have been noticeable trough my blog hibernation. But I have been here for over ten years; 2018 marks is eleventh year blogging - that is such a long time! Blogging is so different nowadays - of course, everything develops and changes with time. I never thought I’ die blogging still. Or, I never thought that I wouldn’t either, I just did not think about it that much, no plan. That’s the whole thing with everything, you never know what will happen and how things will turn out. I did not think, ten years ago when I started with burlesque, that performing would be my main profession within a few years, and that I’d be running a burlesque school. I couldn’t even have imagined that. Eight years ago a burlesque school was the dream, but it sounded so crazy; we thought it could never work over here. But - here we are. Not exactly getting rich but getting by, somewhat. But more on that topic another time.

I did think that ten years from then I would have children but not only one child.  Not all things can be chosen. I never thought I’d live out in the countryside either. Or marry a farmer. But, again, here we are.  (I did remember thinking maybe it was time for someone more academic as I was getting tired of all those rock n’roll and Big Artist guys, and without doing that much more about it still I ended up with my farming geophysicist. That’s how things sometimes go, premonition.)

Deers on a morning walk, a rather daily sight when you live out here.

No I never thought I’d live on a farm but here we are in midst of fields and forest. Still less than an hour from town, so in some ways I guess it’s the best of both worlds. We still have a labyrinth of boxes at home, and a renovation that is happening at such a slow snail pace it’s frustrating. Both Eddi and me work and travel a lot and when we are home relaxing is so much more tempting than emptying out past generation's stuffed-away-stuff from the attic or tearing away and old roof. The living situation has thus been very un-inspirational since we moved away from Tapiola, and unpractical. Which, apart from having approx. 12 hours too little per the daily 24, is also one of the reason for my little time-out. But some things have actually happened here at home, bit by bit, and it feels like we are actually starting to get somewhere, that it will soon be nice to hang out here again. Along with the light starting to flow in from the windows in the morning, I feel a lot of other things as well are moving forward. Something feels different and new.

Spring is coming, summer will soon arrive, the seagulls are shouting already. Lets see where we go from here!

Read More

FOUR THINGS RIGHT NOW: SUNDAY

In a time when I kind of dream I would catch the flu so I could lay in bed and just watch Netflix  with a clean consciousness (that wouldn't be able to happen even if it did happen) a weekend off is a truly amazing thing.  Being in a rather constant mode of constantly needing to perform and produce things, even anticipated events in the free time start feeling like something that you have to accomplish rather than get to experience and thus becomes harder to look forward to. They turn into another task to manage yourself trough. This weekend however was totally off-duty-time and on Friday I got into a real relaxation-mode as I attended the first night of the Superwood-festival (more on that later). And then I got to spend the rest of the weekend at home! Eddi is off on a three-week work trip to Yazd, the stepsons away for the autumn holidays so it's just been me and Dag (and some to do's and work which I have exceptionally well been able to neglect) enjoying the late autumn sunshine.

 The first frosty nights have arrived and left traces that won't melt away until the afternoon.

 Picking rowanberries, the last ones available, to dry for a tea infusion.

Enjoying  a chocolate-lingonberry cake that we baked with Dag!

And working on a new dance partner of mine for our up-coming Halloween show. Ergonomically on the kitchen floor; I've used up all other workspaces and surfaces available in the house.

And come evening, I might allow myself some non-guyilty Netflix time as well!

Read More

36 YEARS AND A DECADE OUT OF THAT.

Last week's Wednesday I turned 36 and this week's Wednesday this blog became a decade old.
The later is a lot and the first neither a lot nor a little; age is a weird concept as it means so much to you at one point (Dag is counting the days, rather literally, until he turns six and dreams about being a magic ten years old) while you at some point just forget about the numbers. (Well, you do have all the physical factors to -painfully- remind you at some point though.)  Right now I don't feel old and I don't feel young and I feel both old and young and, me being something of a constant thinker and non-sleeper am even more so now; having thought a lot about life and my life the past year; what was, and was done, and what is and what will, should and can be. Call it something of an existential crisis, or perhaps existential possibilities. Either way, in general it feels like life does get better all the time, so far at least. And it seems to go by very very fast as well.

So yes indeed, it is late 2017, and I have been blogging here for then years!
In internet time, that is a whole lot. It's fun scrolling back every now and then to what both is and feels like such a long time ago. Obviously, it was a very different life ten years ago, but a lot can also change, or develop, in five.

And obviously, my name is so-not-up-to-date - are there even "fashion blogs" anymore? You know, originally the name was meant to be an sarcastic nod towards outfit blogs, as I when doing freelance work usually just sat around in leggings or underwear working, and then headed over to the harbour to work some more in overalls. And not the nice jumpsuit-y kind, but blue and neon yellow workwear. (well, in that kind of sense I am pretty close to the old days; I seldom get to wear my nice wardrobe because now I am mostly moving around at the studio, moving in the car, or moving on stage in something totally different. That, and also I don't fit most of my old clothes anymore. Ha ha. Sniff.)
So I planned to just do outfit posts on different wool socks, black t-shirts and blackunderwear. But as we all know it never turned out that way and also at this point one can't really change the name now can one?

But ok, lets look back! Because I totally did nothing at all last year when I turned 35, which, as we tend to count in fives and tens, was something more of a thing, I'll go back six years to when I turned thirty. (That's the year I actually celebrated my birthday; we had the True Blood party!)

Here was me then with a new lens. I think I look pretty much the same, but lets be honest here - my skin was indeed six years younger and also two thirds of my clothes from that time don't fit me anymore.  Those physical factors that come with time...

When I turned 25 we (J, my boyfriend at the time) took our friends on a cruise to celebrate. We knew the crew so here we are on a visit to the bridge. (I AM SO YOUNG what is this!)

J is a super fella who still works at sea and has a young boy and a second kid coming up.

And when I turned 20 I looked like this. (Yooooouuuung)My boyfriend at the time was also one whose name began with J. There's a lot of Finnish male names starting on J. I remember this one as well, we had Nepalese food with my family and I wore a long black-and white 1970's maxi skirt.
This J nowadays has a huge Dali-inspired moustache and works as an artist.

Because pretty much everything before I was 25 was shot on film there's not too many pics of my younger years (the two ones above are scanned from an album), especially not if you compare to the constant flow of pics everywhere today. I don't have any  from my 15th birthday here at home but here's one from the autumn when I had turned fourteen. I remember those pants but I have a hard time remembering life and my patterns of thinking back then. We called each other and talked for hours on the phone at home, you could make group calls and we secretly called dating chat lines, used pay phones when out on town and dreamt of being 18. But this I do remember: one day when out walking I told myself to always remember that when you are fourteen you have thought about everything so much already, that you do get things.

And then there's a gap so here I turn one!

If anyone of you have been here with me for the decade-long ride all along I say thanks and send you smiles in ones and zeros! As to anyone who jumped on later as well.

Read More

THE SILENCE

Hi! Here I (still) am. Sitting by my flower-and herb pots on the backdoor stairs. And it's sunny and almost warm -which is something of a thing this summer, the coldest of the decade they say- and I am wearing a selfmade dress I haven't in years.

And I wish I could sit like this more often, just sit there, listen to the wind in the trees and look out on the field and road in front of me, and feel good about just doing just and only that.
But I don't get to too often. The classic -  there's seldom time for it. And when I perhaps try to for a while I tend to look at everything that needs to be done, that are in the yard and garden waiting to be fixed or maintained.  That's a line you often hear from a lot of people, but in this case here everything really is waiting for the next step. The house is still full of the Tapiola-flat still packed in boxes, waiting for us to renovate more space. It looks like shit. And the to-do's from work never end; there is always something you still need to do. And have I worked, a lot, building the business, constantly. And it might even start to show soon. The two hours I spend on commuting every day are those two I spent at blogging per day before (I spend a lot of time and eat a lot of my meals in the car these days).

So I took a lot of stress during the past year of not having time to blog like I was used to, or like I wanted to. Many are the list of posts that remained on there, as notes on a list, and many are also the photos since 2015-something meant for the blog, still lingering on the memory card, to the point that it became a thing, like a barrier I couldn't get across, to actually produce something. But at some point this summer I just let that stress go. I've been here for a decade. That's a crazy long time and sometimes, when I take the sudden extra moment, I may browse back and look at what I used to do during the past ten years, and also at how one used to blog for the time being. Because that has changed as well, blogging itself has changed, the way it is done it seems. Few out there interest me anymore, many became too branded and "clean"- which is something I totally understand, the need and reason to brand oneself, for those making a living out of it.  Everyday life for me has been so hectic and at some points heavy possible blog subjects have changed and the current state of many affairs and situations in society has also had an effect on what I have felt, or rather not felt like blogging about. And all the boxes and halfway-there things at home do not serve as too inspiring an environment for the moment either.
But that does not mean I am done. I just stopped feeling bad about not being able to constantly produce material (and answer emails, sorry for that!).
And damn, that feels good!

Read More

LAST OF APRIL, FIRST OF MAY

Iiro Nurminen 1960, Helsingin Kaupunginmuseo

Vappu.  Valborg. Vappen. The most likely biggest of the Finnish festivities!  Party-wise, I guess. If the city empties at Midsummer Vappu is the opposite - the city is full of thousands and thousands of celebrating people. We've had mead and funnel cakes and donuts for a the past days and I'm getting rather stuffed by now.

Vappen is a festivity for quirky hats and faux noses and costumes and serpentines and confetti (and just making a mess our of everything in general). Kindergartens and schools most often have a masquerade they day before Vappu. Last year Dag was a ninja, this year he went as his latest obsession: a knight!

Costumes that I wore when I was little included princess (quelle surprise), medieval lady and cowgirl.

I've spent most of my Vappu-day, as in the day after; 1st of May, out on town celebrating since early morning, and even those years I was on shift in the harbour I tried to sneak in a visit to to the park before work. Lots of fun memories ever since my early childhood years. The tradition of Valborg, which itself goes way back in time has been celebrated in today's form, with partying on the streets, balloons and picnics and such, since the 1800's. On first of May labour's day and marches meet academic festivities and a sea of white graduation caps.

First of may on the Observatory Hill of Kaivopuisto.
Arvo Kajante 1959. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

 Kari Hakli 1972. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Picnic in Kaisaniemi.

Ivan Timiriasew 1920. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

 Ivan Timiriasew 1912. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Student gathering in Kaisaniemi.

Unknown photographer, 1870. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo. 

Communist march. Simo Rista SER 1970. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Labourers' march. Unknown photographer, 1919. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo. 

 Juha Jernvall 1950, Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

Above are photos from celebrations in Helsinki from past days; the Helsinki City museum has released a site -helsinkikuvia.fi- where you can browse and download their collection of 40,000 photographies of Helsinki from then and now, with a free-to-use-if credited license. A lot of interesting and nostalgic pics! So I checked out Vappu-celebrations from past times; turns out they had as shitty weather as we do back in 1899 as well for example. And 1957 and 1929. Phew.

Drawing by A.Federley of their first of May in 1899. Helsingin kaupunginmuseo.

But when you've blogged for a decade (!!) you get quite the archive of your own life during those years as well.
This year, as I was working in the day and as Eddi is away on work in Shiraz I am just staying at home in bed with a glass of, in fact, Shiraz as well (going for that old traditional, but with newly found internet fame, mode of kalsarikännit. Well not really, but close enough. Not drunk but no pants.) I browsed some of my own Vappus from the last years -

2010 we were out with Eddi and some friends on town. (And it was cold. Not like now, but I was freezing in my dress.Weather is such a factor here.). Just remembered that the Vappu before we had been on a day-date after having been on a break and I biked to work in the sunshine wondering weather it would turn into something or not.

2011 we got engaged in the pale May night on our way home after a long odyssey of park picnics and suburbian bars. It was warm and I wore a 50's dress and my big pink petticoat that I managed to spill beer on and Eddi picked me a yellow dandelion and gave me a ring. (We had actually booked our wedding in Vegas by then already but it was still a sweet move.)

2012 I was super pregnant amd we went to a Vappu brunch after the park.

2013 Eddi was in Bolivia and I was home on the countryside with Dag minding my flowers and drinking beer. Kind of like now, heh.
And I got carried away at my son's first chance for a Vappu balloon and got him two. Dag has a dinosaur balloon this year as well btw (< THE INTERNET HAS TO KNOW!)

But I also brought Dag to his first First of May park experience then!
I remember he started screaming so hard in the bus (that was packed) on our way downtown I had to get off and wait for another one. Not very surprisingly we went for brunch after the park.
(Most restaurants organise late brunches on May 1st. )

Last year we stayed out on the countryside and had some friends over for bbq and fixed up my old car. And yes it was so much warmer than now. And no, that's not a real butt.

Glada Vappen!

Read More

MY TOP-5 LISTS

For the moment.
Apart from the daily to-do list(s). And apart from the weekly and monthly ones as well.

I am a total list-person. I write lists on my phone, on the back of receipts and opened envelopes and random A4's around the house and in multiple text files. And in email drafts. Lists are the foundations of how all practical (and less practical) parts my life is organised. Sometimes I write the same list a couple of times, to get to go over things again (or because it's enjoyable if it's a list of fun things) or because it feels like it's one step closer to be done that way. Ha!

So, here's my "top five" lists for the moment

1. List of lists to be made.
Yes, for reals.


2. Movies I want to be able to catch while they still run at theatres.


I really want to see Moonlight.

This is a constant one, that comes and goes, and that seldom gets anything checked off because work and kids and life and all that. But this winter we managed to see one movie with Eddi, so I've given new hope to actually seeing a couple more!

Also bubblin' under:
Books I want to read (I'd like to read far more than I do nowadays but feel I don't have the time. Hell, internet!)
Shows I want to watch (And no, these two are in no way connected. Ehrm...)


3. Things to renovate at home -

including separate lists of:
-wallpapers I want to use
Turns out there are more of those than walls. And it's good most of my lists are a slow process because this changes one throughout the years.
-storage; how to organise what and where
(this never ends)
-interior details to add after the hard work is done (the one you'd like to dig into immediately; fuck the hard work-part)

This set of lists is constant, because an old house will always need something, but is now back in the top-list segment, as things will kind of, somehow, finally start happening over here for reals soon!


4.  Things to grow in the garden

Because what if, this year, for reals.
It's a fun one though. Let's see if we make things happen big(-ger) this year, and all trough the summer...


5. Blog posts to write

This would make a book by now, all the unwritten ones.
If there's a hashtag #toooldtopublish here's where it comes to use.

Are you a list-writing person? Are your lists rather constant or do you get to check things off?


(Online source for top photo: vintage.es. No known original source for the final photo.)

Read More

THROWBACKS, OLDIES

There has been this old-photos challenge going on on Facebook lately. Not that I am sure why everything has to be a challenge actually. The only challenge for me would be to actually make the effort to post something (when there are lots of better things to do), or then to find the time to do so, which I guess in this case is the case, as it meant trying to dig out some old photos). As I was young before digital cameras came most old photos of me are in albums at my parents house and in one box in my basement somewhere, and the amounts are of course nowhere near the selfie parades of today's world. I pretty much only remember having this photo of me from around or before this millennium. But alas, I did find some more. And I did have a little laugh and also a nostalgic smile looking at some of these. As my blog will soon turn nine years (fanfares!) and as I will get yet another year older around the same time prtt prtt PRTTT (=trumpet sound) and have often posted something old about me because of that, but nowadays usually post everything with at least a six month delay, I will do this a bit in advance. Oldies on parade, here you go!

It's 1982 and I turn one year old and have chubby cheeks and look an awful lot like my son. Or, he sure did look an awful lot like me when he was a bébé.

My sister and I sit on a rock some years later. 

And then we pretended we were on the beach in Miami where my dad had gone for business and bought us these sundresses. My youngest sister apparently wears the pink one still as a nightie. She's rather tiny. There are not so many photos of me with my youngest sister. One where we are rocking her in a swing when she's a baby and we are wearing these really strange Playboy sweatpants & shirt combo that my grandmother had bought when she was on holiday in Ibiza. "There's a cute rabbit on them..".

So here's one instead by the cabin lake shore where we are pretending to be street musicians. In 1990 or so.

Jump some five-six years forward and I'm fifteen and in a drama group and featured in this leaflet. I dyed my hair and all my clothes black at that time. My friend dug this one up some time ago and it gave me a laugh indeed. 

And then I turned sixteen and seventeen and was a hippie but these ones you have seen at some point already. I also notice that it was possible to get caffe lattes by then.

Mmmyup.

I still have that dress, a yellow 1960's sundress that used to belong to my grandmother's sister. Not that if probably fits me. But it's in a chest in the bedroom along with some other clothes that I still hold on to.

And now we are in the digital age! Here's me as an design student in 2002 or so when we had a photography course and got to take photos with a digital camera.


Not sure how to end this one here so I'll do it with the latest photo there is of me, which, suitably for our age is a selfie from earlier today when I found this field with sunflowers that one could pick and that was a nice thing for my Monday.

(For the recored,, being older is a lot better than you'd picture it to be when you are say, 15 or 21. Phew.)

Read More