Getting Rid of Toxic Parenting

Parenting is a very complicated task, that requires not only a lot of time and dedication, but also an introspection process in order to settle down problems created by our parents and even grand-parents family environments. 

Bad and toxic parenthood doesn't have to do with financial and social status, but most probably, is usually more frequent in environment where various addictions and limited financial possibilities are predominant. In What Kind of Parent Am I by Dr. Nicole Letourneau different parenting styles and risks are evaluated through individual questionnaires revealing not only the problem, but leading to at least one possible solution to correct the situation. Some cases rely on the mistakes and failures of our parents. Some of them are just the result of our pressures and adverse social and economic situations. In every single situation, the victim is always the child which doesn't have to pay for it. 

A quote mentioned in the book is revelatory about the ways in which we have to try to raise our children: 'Let's raise children who won't have to recover from their childhoods'. Strong family and social networks, a permanent contact with educators, psychologists and pediatrician, a positive attitude keen to correct the misgivings of the past. The earlier it starts the more reversible the process is, therefore the proper feedback and support is necessary to eliminate the toxic risks. 

Written based on the knowledge of the everyday life situations, this book serves as an inspired guidance in the complicated world and relationships of parents and their children. With the main encouragement do not hesitate to ask for support and the right resources for correcting your relationship and attitude. According to the author, parenting is a 'balancing act: it requires you to pull back at times but also to pay close attention to your child'. The most important question in this case is: 'Am I the parent my child needs me to be?'. The answer may differ from a development period to another, but it is always relevant to update the content based on various circumstances and the specific children history. 

This book offers practical guidance and inspiration to parents worried about the weight of the past into their parenting while offering a serious scientific psychologic background for different choices and decisions regarding the education of children from the very beginning onwards. 

Rating: 5 stars

Disclaimer: Book offered by the publisher in exchange for an honest review 

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Lessons Learned from BabyWelt 2017 Berlin

If you are waiting for a baby or you have a small toddler and looking to find out the best children tips for new parents in Germany, BabyWelt is the fair where you definitely should book a price. I visited this event for the first time shortly after my son was born, in 2015, and returned this year being equally impressed by the variety of products and excellent services shared.

Held between 3-5 November at the Messe Berlin, this event gathered over 140 participant companies, all of them with serious experience in the field of baby products and parenting. From big medical providers as Vivantes, to big baby carriage and prams distributors, everything you need to know for the first months and years with the baby was offered to new parents as guidance for their new challenging life about to begin. 

One of the most challenging part of being a responsible parent is the choice of the best products for your child. The pram plays a very important part into the baby's life, and the choice should be done as responsible as possible because it influences dramatically the physical development of the baby. I personally started with a Per Perego and purchased meanwhile a Maxi-Cosi too. (A comparison review coming up in the next weeks). What I really appreciate to Maxi-Cosi is the high-end, safe car seats which are also good looking, not only practical. Even not familiar with the Star Wars, my son jumped instantly on that one because you cannot easily resist such a colourful temptation. 

At BabyWelt, parents are guided step-by-step in their efforts to find the best pram, through practical testing and extensive details. I was very happy to discover a couple of German producers as well, among which Hartan, whose prams and buggies are excellently designed according to the finest details of the baby body.

In addition to the display of products, an important part of the 2-day fair is played by various workshops held by specialists in various domains, dealing with a variety of topics, from health to administrative aspects, such as your rights during the maternity leave. Equally important was to visit the small information point dedicated to vaccinations and other medical aspects of the first months in the life of the baby.

On the stage, new mothers were encouraged to be part of various exercises, helping them to stay in shape, either running or practising together with their babies. A great incentive and encouragement to stay fit after the pregnancy.

And there is even more help for a smooth baby life, as creativity and innovation can make life better. As sleep is one of the most serious issues encountered in the first weeks and months by the new parents, myHummy created products that can help the little ones to fall asleep easier and for a long time. Their toys look so cute that you might want to buy one for yourself, regardless the age. 

I personally always cope with a little crisis before every birthday event, as I am trying to be creative yet practical, to find the best present and party setting and decorations. Luckily, nowadays there are so many opportunities for finding the best presents for the little ones, without too much efforts. Like, for instance, personalized items with your beloved one's name written on mugs or kindergarten bags.

I personally went to this fair looking for some interesting daily care products for my 2-year old son. He has sometimes dry skin therefore I needed some oils for regular use, at least once the day. Based on the description of the ingredients - all natural - I bought one baby oil from the Allgäu-based company boep, whose products are distributed via dm drugstore network and one week after, I am completely happy with the results. The advantage of taking part to the fair is to use various discounts offered on the spot, which means always a fair investment.

Another purchase was from the 70-year old HAKA, which produces natural cleaning products and creams, strongly recommended to allergic and sensitive-skin children.

Clothes for children should be both practical and fancy, preferably with lovable prints, made of natural materials and resistent to frequent washing. My favorite at the fair was the Berlin-based Fuchs und Kiwi, with its colourful funny comfy clothes for all middle ages.

If you are living in Germany and interested to take part to other BabyWelt events, you can do it to Stuttgart (26-28 November 2017), Hamburg (16-18 February 2018) or Frankfurt (23-25 February 2018). 

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Your Child's First Trips to the Dentist and other Healthy Teeth Routines

My big girl hates going to the dentist. It was always like this, regardless what kind of problems she had or what kind of doctors we visited. Every time we were supposed to go for regular checkings or for some serious appointments, she was terrified, with outbursts of panic attacks and deep anxious moments. Now, as a fully 18+ years old, she is in the same mood every time when faced with the prospect of a visit to the dentist, whatever the reason.

On the other end of the spectrum, is me who with 6 was sent to the dentist on her own and never experienced any terrifying moments when on the chair. I always had teeth issues and although a regular checking program and many family dentist friends took care of me, nothing could stop the teeth decay and even more visits to the dentist. But although I also went through really weird episodes - when one dentist lady decided to make an extraction without anesthetic because she was afraid that I might have an allergic reaction to it - I kept trusting the doctors, using any visit as an opportunity to talk about teeth health and other medical related issues. A knowledge that didn't help that much as apparently the lack of a proper food in early childhood and some genetical issues faced me with the unpleasant situation of starting loosing my teeth in my early 20s.

Baby Teeth Routines

With my 2-year old son, the situation is still work in process, but I tried from his 8 month of life on to introduce the dental care routines into our daily life. In our advantage plays also the fact that in Germany, there are local institutions in charge with such issues, and from his first year of life we were requested to pay a visit to the city hall dentistry cabinet to learn about basic rules of stomatological care, including what products to not use - such as sweet juices. 

We started by brushing the teeth twice the day - in the morning and in the evening - by using fluoride-based tooth paste, without added sugar, and trying to find the best eco- and using friendly tooth brushes, as the one we had from Planet Bamboo. Introducing this routine into the daily life was made step-by-step and as usual, the best way to do it is by offering yourself the best example. My son was able to see that I am doing the same and even that before I am brushing his teeth, I am doing the same with his favorite Teddy bears.

However, our trips to the pediatric dentist weren't always a cup of tea. With the pediatrician he was always friendly and as we go there regularly, there is a certain connection between the two, therefore although once in a while he is not so keen to go through the regular healthy checkings, the doctor has enough authority to convince him to do. With the pediatric dentist the situation is a little bit different. It might be some mysterious way which scares the kid every time he or she sees a chair and all the tools around it. Convincing my otherwise friendly son to sit on it, even on my lap, was almost impossible and here we are, 4 visits to the dentist later and still unable to keep him to the mouth open for more than 1 second...

Keep Visit the Dentist

Although at this stage, the risk of serious teeth decay problems is probably very low, I still recommend to use the services of a pediatric dentist, as he or she will certainly have some extra acquired skills about how to deal with children. Or, at least, the cabinet do have some stuffed animals and other kiddy attractions that might keep your baby entertained and in a better friendly mood. Another tip will be to keep visiting the dentist once in a while, maybe every 6 months, just to let your baby used with the ambiance, and the doctor and, if lucky enough for keep him on the chair, the basic routines. Especially if you are a single parent with a limited time in your pocket, you might feel annoyed by all those visits and consider it a waste of time, but believe me, you made in fact an investment in your child and it is what matters after all. As in the case of the pediatrician, it is important that you keep an open line with your dentist for consultations about the best toothpaste and brush to use and any other issues that might affect the dental health of your child - the proper foods and what to avoid - too much sweets, for instance - is equally noteworthy. Especially when you have a family history of tooth problems - as I do - finding the right strategy for keeping the genetics in chess cannot be done without the adequate professional help.

Therefore, it is important that besides the pediatrician, to have also a good reliable dentist for your baby too, which will help you to keep the serious dental problems at bay and avoid serious issues later into adulthood. Dental issues are opening the door to many other ugly maladies therefore be sure that you do everything possible to prevent serious issues, by using an early dentistry checking for your baby. 

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