Why I Did NOT Set Goals for 2019

With all its many ups and downs, 2018 finally ended last night. In many respects, it brought me a lot of fascinating encounters and new good friends, a lot of knowledge about myself and my inner powers but also way too much stress, misunderstanding and worries-driven mind. 

Professionally, it was a very good year, with a lot of collaborations unfolding and many successful projects achieved. I was able to achieve a healthy financial stability, while expanding my contacts and working hard to achieve my goals. My debts diminished and I can finally look more optimistically into the future, thinking about new investments with a more relaxed outlook.

An important step forward towards achieving mental stability, was a lot of time spent thinking and discussing about what my real needs are, learning to be more proud about my own successes, about what I am and I become, but also taking it lightly on failures. Taking more care about my health was also important, with 3 full weeks spent in a relaxing resort, where I was able to practice a lot of sport, discuss with specialists about how to better balance life and work while coping with the challenges of single parenting. The most important part was to recognize the friends where they were and nurture the relationship with people that really matter.

However, things were not always as smoothly as I made them look like. It was a lot of stress and insecurities, way too many worries and false expectations and way too many disappointments. This heavy load leaded to a lot of sleepless nights or bad sleep nights, a lot of stress that leaded to allergies and weakened the immunity system therefore in the last weeks of the year I had to cope with a pretty bad flu that seems to be there to stay, as my end of the year counting of blessings were really not going too good.

Obviously, discovering yourself hurts sometimes and the path towards peace cannot happen without stumbling upon some hard rocks and this cannot be without results, some of them pretty hurtful. How else can you grow up otherwise?

Although I am a pretty careful planner and I love to set clear goals both personally and professionally, for this year I am more relaxed and less strict towards myself. Because my most important aim is to learn how to relax and enjoy life, how to be happy and at ease with myself, nurturing relationships and simply being myself. I don't want anything big or too high or amazing or outstanding. I want to be alive, and healthy, and fully enjoy every single moment of my short life. I want to be happy and content that my child is happy and content and strong enough to deal with everyday's life struggles. 

I want to dedicate a lot of time to people that really matter in my life and find a balance between my priorities, both in life and professional. I want to be surrounded by people that enjoy their life and see the best in people and their personal stories. I want to search for happiness, wherever it happens to be. 

Cheers to a new beginning and hopefully, in 12 months from now I will be able to share more positive interesting stories about my experience. 

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#Chill: From a 'human doing' to a 'human being'

It is a trend nowadays I was not aware of for a long time, according to which working should be rather limited to the 9 to 5, as the rest of the day should be dedicated to your hobbies, family, or just to chill. I was not aware of it while I was non-stop working and enjoying it many autumns ago. I was also not aware how unhappy I was apparently when my various working assignments kept me awake late in the night. I was enjoying it and I was getting good money and I didn't - and will not - feel guilty about it. Should I feel guilty for loving my work, being dedicated to my projects and doing what I always wanted to be? For being surrounded by people passionate about what they were doing? Did I ever felt 'burned out', a term I was aware it is a diagnosed only a couple of years ago?

Having a job you love, a social position, a healthy bank account are no reasons to feel guilty or bad about it. Life is about choices, another school of new psychology will teach you. I may reckon though that for some, an intensive life and work schedule is exhausting, overwhelming and burns out a lot. For those looking for the right balance, #Chill. Turn Off Your Job and Turn On Your Life may offer a good start and content to the medium- and long-term change process. It doesn't advice you to leave your job, start backpacking or moving into the woods living on plants, but to start little by little to see something else than work around you.

What it really appeals is that it has a very simple, realistic 12-month plan, followed by a 365-day schedule of assigned topics. It helps you to be less than perfect, more relaxed into your everyday life, more careful with the emotional needs and expectations of your family and friends, more open to ask for help and to collaborate with others in finishing your tasks. It also advices a better focus on yourself as 'when you take care of yourself first, you have more energy to invest in business and personal pursuits later on'.  

After all, it is not so bad to take a look to your needs, relax and put on hold your working life, at least a couple of hours the day. Have a good meal with your dear ones, a good sleep and be ready for a new day. As you don't have to apologize for loving your work, you also don't have to feel guilty for enjoying your #Chill time. 

#Chill. Turn Off Your Job and Turn On Your Life is a good and realistic guidance to those keen to change a bit their daily habits and eliminate as much as possible the daily toxic lifestyle. If you love hard work and challenges, you may accept this one.

Disclaimer: Book offered by the publisher in exchange for an honest review

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Wrapping Up the Busy Month of May

The month of May was a really crazy month for the business, the very good kind of crazy. The more I am getting more and more into serious and work challenges of the real world, the more I am back to my unhealthy workaholic habits. Indeed, my account is pretty happy, but what about my health and my family relationships? Once upon a time I was really proud of my resilience and ambition, but right now, with the little demanding baby around and no one else to assume the parenting responsibilities, it looks like a little difficult. Not impossible though, although the first victim from my previously short-lived easy life were the healthy sleeping habits. Meaning, that I'm back to the 3-4 hours of sleep by night, and a roller-coaster of a life the rest of the day. 

Been there, done that, and old habits die hard, but however, I am trying my best to find the best way for a little balance - like spending the weekend out of the work assignments, taking some time from my work to cuddle the baby, prepare the food and answer his questions. However, is never enough being said of the challenges of a single mother with a small baby, whose father assumes no real responsibilities. There is not too much choice being left: on one side, there is the high probability of being bankrupt, poor and depressed; on the bright side, you (I) keep fighting for your rights and the best for your child. It is very hard and depression may be around the corner as well, but surrounded by friends, a good family therapist and using the intelligence and skills Gd gave you, you can do it. I am doing it every day, so you can do it too.

In addition to this, my dental surgery kept making me a lot of problems - especially in terms of eating challenges - and hopefully I can write more about it soon. 

Back to the business track and blogging plans, I expect June to be pretty intense as well in terms of working, but there is the 3-week holidays waiting for us at the end of it. I have lots of posts from the last months that I didn't have time to publish and edit yet, a couple of recipes I would love to try, and interesting cookbooks, and also some great parenting books too. My focus will be about how to improve my life quality standards and create some wellness and mindfulness islands in the sea of crazy work assignments and baby tantrums. 

That's all for now, it is Sunday and I'm free to spend some great time with my baby!

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